


The Itch

by lady_wonder



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gay Remus Lupin, M/M, Male Slash, Marauders, Marauders Friendship, Marauders' Era, Minor James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Oblivious Sirius Black, POV Remus Lupin, Remus Lupin is still my favorite HP character FIGHT ME, Sad Sirius Black, Unrequited Love, Werewolf Remus Lupin, Young Remus Lupin, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-05
Updated: 2016-12-05
Packaged: 2018-09-06 16:00:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8759590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lady_wonder/pseuds/lady_wonder
Summary: If there were ever a name for an itch, it was Sirius Black.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in 2009, when I was just a wee babe known as hopewashere04, lost in the HP fanfic craze, and in love with Wolfstar. I recently rediscovered this piece among a plethora of old drabbles and it was the only one I was not embarrassed of. I hope you aren't either.

If there were ever a name for an itch, it was Sirius Black.  
  
By definition, the word _itch_ (v) was to have or feel a peculiar tingling or uneasy irritation of the skin that causes a desire to scratch the part affected (Remus looked this up just to be sure). From a second source, an _itch_ (n) was an uneasy or restless desire or longing (by this point, Madam Pince was becoming curious). Then, simply on a whim, an _itch_ (v) that was used with an object was to annoy; vex; irritate (and the object in this case was Remus, as well as moot).  
  
But if there were ever a person -- a living, breathing, beautiful soul -- to fill the root of such a term, a sound thrown from the voice and caught in the air, an action, a gesture, a sensation, it was Sirius Black. In all the ways he caused such a feeling (v, without an object) known as the word _itch_.  
  
And Remus had the itch.  
  
It came upon him quite unexpectedly. He prided himself on foresight, but this little bugger had escaped him. Out of nowhere, it was there; one moment, he was happy with books and chocolate, and the next he realized he had no affinity for females, mainly because they didn't come at all close to the scent Sirius carried. And then _boom_ (v: to make a deep, prolonged, resonate sound, and the only way James would describe it)-- it was there.  
  
Remus had the itch, burrowed beneath his skin and unreachable. To rid himself of it would call for death alone, because nothing could resolve the feeling.  
  
Suggestions were, naturally, made in order to assist (in keeping his sensible well-being, because Remus was _surely_ losing his mind). From James, it was the nightly discussions he had with the elusive and beautiful Lily Evans that offered the list of single and curious males who wouldn't mind being fancied by a bookworm who had a tendency to disappear once or twice a month. From Peter, it was the companionship, the understanding nods that would arrive when Remus would choose to stay in the library rather than join Sirius for dinner in the Kitchens, and the general presence that said, "Moony, I understand, the bloke's an arse, you're better off staying away."  
  
_Away_. Out of existence or notice; into extinction (adv).  
  
However, no such itch like the itch of Sirius Black would abide.  
  
Thus came the desire to _scratch_ (v, with an object). To break, mar, or mark the surface -- to dig, scrape, or tear -- to erase, cancel, strike out, or eliminate --  the urge and want and need and must of the _scratch_ was almost worse than the _itch_ itself. At least the itch was a separate, though related entity; at least the itch required no action on Remus' part; at least the itch came as a quiet comfort as Remus slowly, but surely lost what was left of his sanity (because if he was going to go off his rocker, he might as well have it be because he was in love).  
  
But to scratch would make it into _something_ , and to give that something _meaning_ was far too terrifying to ever look up in a dictionary.  
  
Not that a dictionary would include it.  
  
(Remus already checked.)  
  
So when the day came, the pause in time, the _moment_ (n: a definite period or stage, as in a course of eve-- at which point James took the dictionary away and made Remus swear he wouldn't crack another one open without his approval, something that is argued about to this day)--  
  
When the mark of their fifth year arrived, Remus took the pivotal and volatile and hoped for the best. He awoke to chaos and James, for some reason, was in the Hospital Wing; and Lily was out of her mind with worry and Peter wasn't at all sure what had happened; and while Snape was ushered away by Dumbledore and Remus could only just stand there, Sirius kept apologizing, over and over again, he was so sorry, so sorry, just so _sorry_...  
  
_Sorry_. Regrettable. Deplorable. Unfortunate. Tragic.  
  
These were Remus' own words that he later found coincided with the ones in his dictionary. And he hoped, beyond all hope, for the best, because he hated Sirius without a doubt and this _surely_ would bring the itch to an end.   
  
Remus did not speak to Sirius for a year. Words were, in their own way, exchanged between the two, steadily over the months that passed, but the rift was present and nothing could truly be said to change it. Remus, by definition, had no words; had no voice; had no sound. There was nothing to describe this, but the lack of expression alone.  
  
So when the conclusion came (as they always do in stories like these, or so Remus had read), it arrived with much noise. A _burst_ would be the word; a sudden zap, pull, and tug, something that stutters and renders all else immovable. It came on Remus' birthday and it came with Sirius' voice--  
  
"I've missed you, Moony."  
  
_Miss_. To regret the absence or loss of (v, with an object, and James only allowed it this time because of the circumstances and possibly the heavy amounts of alcohol Remus had him consume). Sirius had _missed_ him, his eyes never leaving Remus' through the whole seconds of a sentence, his dark gaze lazy and incomprehensibly _erotic_ behind heavy lashes, and all at once things were set right again, back in place, never to be disturbed again. Friends forever, they were. _Friends_.  
  
And the itch, Remus knew, had not subsided at all.

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a kudos or a comment or, hell, go crazy and leave both. I love you like Remus loves the dictionary.


End file.
